Is it winter yet?

Love moves and twists and eats everything in its path. The only thing that is immune to the coninuous movement is well, drive. I learned this the hard way. Two times actually. As a young teenager I thought I fell in love once but I was just infatuated and into something totally new. Sex was my oyster and I could have as many oysters as I wanted and whenever I wanted them. Then when that ended it was mutual but I being a guy that never quits tried to keep it going after I was the one to say lets break it off. Well I haven't talked to that girl again. I see her every once in awhile but she isn't even an acquaintance. Now I wait and wait and Im with the only thing that can make me relax and I live in California, that should be a big hint. Well it just so happens that I attracted a school girl to me that was as innocent as a saint. It was wonderful being with a girl like that. Wow she completed me and still does to this day but I did the exact same thing again as with my first Love. I called for it to be over. Why? I dont know but I did and that is what happened. My sex drive is what was immune this time, I wanted more but she could not help me out. It happens I guess but then does that make me shallow or does that make me human? I have been battling with this idea for awhile and I cannot come to grips with it and it makes me worry and wonder what the Fuck is going on in my brain. I don't even know what I want anymore and I can't explain why I hurt from my own doing. I feel like an idiot that is sitting under a beer pong table cause, your trolling. But see im not playing beer pong Im playing life. Should I be playing life? or be living it? Interesting to think of once everything roles off the tongue or the fingers to be proper. Well the only thing to do is wait and cool myself off with a twenty foot hose I guess, and determine what my next strategical move will be. I love the wind, its winter time and everything is starting to get colder and well maybe things will change around christmas. Hopefully Santa helps me out a bit.